Of Negativity and Joy

I feel like I’ve been in a cloud of negativity recently. I don’t know why. There’s nothing really wrong. But I’ve felt a bit down nonetheless. There are a few things that can make it evaporate instantly. Like Elias smiling and saying “Mama” while he holds his arms out to me or shows me a new discovery. Or like a long hug from Nathan where I can feel the tension melting off my body. But even with those moments sprinkled in, the fog of negativity rolls back in. I often don’t like blogging during these periods of negativity because I don’t want this to turn into a place where I whine and gripe about things that won’t even bother me in a few days. But I wanted to force myself to write because I felt like it would help me get out of my funk. So I decided…what better way than to look through my journal of thanks and share a few of the things that have brought me joy. I haven’t shared for awhile so I’ll just choose some of them:

322. Olive stretched out on the carpet, soaking in the sun as if every drop mattered

323. Marveling over bird calls and bright red plumage with Elias

329. Elias patting my back during a hug

334. A working washer and dryer

351. Bare toddler feet

354. Rereading a good book

366. Wind whipping at the flags across the street

370. Excited voices of children running down the hall

375. Getting my first issue of Sojourners magazine

378. Elias putting himself to sleep

381. Grandpa and Elias touching noses

389. Rain blurring on the window

390. Finding a child sponsor

395. G.H. encouraging me in my Child Ambassadorship

397. Olive going crazy chasing a bread tie

398. Long hugs with Nathan

401. Receiving a handwritten letter in the mail

411. The moment when Elias first sees Nathan as he walks home and says, “Daddy”

There are so many more….

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