I Voted. With A Heavy Heart.

I voted today. I voted with a heavy heart. I say that because for a long time I had convinced myself that I was not going to send in my ballot.

It’s not the candidates that bother me, really. It’s the system. A system that condones, encourages, and uses violence. A system full of corruption and greed. A system where only the rich can become candidates in the first place. A system full of evil.

I remember back in 2008 when much of the U.S. population was crazy over Obama. His campaign which focused on “hope” and “change” caught so many in its net. I remember overhearing conversations where people would say things like “2 more weeks and everything will be better.” I knew even then that those were dangerous words. I worried and wondered why people thought one man could change everything in a system where one man (luckily) does not have enough power to change anything. It’s a system of many many people. I knew that Obama could never get done in four years everything that was hoped for, and wondered how people would view him in the end.

Under Obama’s presidency, many good things have happened. We’ve taken some good steps forward. But even Obama, a good man, has done so many evil things as president. Innocents have been killed, guilty have been assassinated without trial. Drone warfare has been used to murder…much of the time innocent people. New wars were started. Obama has done so many evil things. And the system is mostly to blame.

I decided as we approached this voting season that I did not want to vote because I did not want to participate in a system so evil. A government that interferes, that abuses power, that murders.

But as I thought more, I decided that as a citizen, I am part of the system whether I like it or not. And let’s face it…some parts of the system are good. I was very happy when the fire department came when my building was on fire, and put it out before much damage was done. I am glad we have smooth roads and public transportation. I am grateful for our public schools (though those in my area are sadly lacking in funding). I am grateful that the poor are helped to at least some extent in our country.

I benefit from our system whether I participate or not. And I also think that to make change, I need to participate in the system. Voting is just one part of that.

I truly believe that it will not make much of a difference who becomes president. Perhaps I am naive and will someday read this post and laugh at myself. But now I think it is the American people who have to wake up, who have to change. Until that happens, Washington will not be able to change for the better either.

I voted today knowing that whoever wins, evil things will most likely happen. It is not a good feeling. But I still think it was right to participate.