On My Own

I’ll be heading to a conference in Seattle this weekend. It’s the child ambassador conference for World Vision. When I signed up a few months ago, it seemed ages away, and I got more and more excited. Now that it is almost upon me, though, I am getting more and more nervous.

I have full confidence that the boys will be absolutely fine. Nathan is a very capable Dad and caretaker. Probably the worst that will happen is that he’ll dress them in the wrong size clothing or something. Maybe I’m just a control freak, but I’m just worrying about being away for a whole weekend.

Maybe it’s just that I don’t know what to do with myself. I haven’t really been alone since Elias was born. I’ve been alone on a quick trip to the grocery store. I’ve taught summer school to a big group of other people’s kids. I’ve been to meetings for the food pantry or MOMS club. But truly alone? Having real time to myself? Not for over four years. It’s a strange concept.

I’m really looking forward to getting a good night sleep, to meeting other people who care as much about child sponsorship as I do, to going out without having to worry if there is snot or something worse on my shirt.

Being a mom is not all of who I am. But it is a huge part of who I am. I’m going to try to enjoy myself, learn a lot, be inspired, and not worry about what is going on at home.

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One Response to On My Own

  1. Janet Roth says:

    K.
    Nathan rocks at childcare! They will have a nice bonding time the three of them — and there will be lots of stories to tell you when you get home…….and there are grandparents only a phone call away if all goes awry.

    I remember going to Berkley in 2007 for a conference. I got in on the Saturday before– and knew no one, had no schedule I had to keep, and no one to whom I was accountable to for the first 36 hours. It was both scary and glorious. I wish you the joy of challenging yourself to make the most of your time away from the boys (and sleeping early / late counts!)

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